14 April 2018

Back in Business, Baby


Blogger Back in Blogging Saddle

"Writing paragraphs again and it feels terrific"

Let it be known that the Proverbial Bejesus is back in 2018, and better than ever. A low bar to be sure, nevertheless we shall endeavor to hurdle it with our customary verve and aplomb (or two).

In response to inquiries about like what the hell is even happening around here lately (and stuff), answers may or may not be provided if and only if and when such inquiries actually materialize.  Frankly, we’ve been wondering ourselves.

Before we get started however, let’s go ahead and have a little end of season review, but this time from a forward-looking perspective.

In April we’ll have our sneak preview of the Cannes Cake Festival and Gown Extravaganza, we’ll give you the inside scoop on all the cakes and gowns and provide sizzling commentary of a hot and spicy nature that won’t just attract clicks, it will attract your mind to new ideas previously unimagined and in many cases unimaginable by conventional means/minds.

A romantic comedy that takes place inside the human ear? It sounds unlikely but my friends that is exactly the point – it is unlikely. Can you hear the romance … or is it just some funny noise created by a small speck of something trapped in your ear? Prepare to reassess everything you've ever known when this tearjerking gutbuster hits the big screens in Meigh!

In June we’ll send our correspondent to Live Blog the Constitution, in real time. Look out below.

Our July summer barbecue issue will put a new spin on some old favorites such as hogfat sizzlers, buzzard gizzards, and Blueberry cheesecake compote sorbet torte layer-cake creamsicle pie cup freezies. Mmmm nothing like a hot steaming platter of buzzard’s gizzards and a chilled glass of sardine chardonnay at the peak of the dog days.

Probably be busy for most of August so will likely be re-posting old stuff nobody thought much of the first time. In September we’ll uphold our longstanding tradition of scrambling to cobble something together at the last minute.

October’s post will feature vibrant fall colors and come with a free pumpkin spiced latte in every paragraph. Certain restrictions may apply, while certain other restrictions widely regarded as too restrictive in this day and age will be lifted, come what may and Katie bar the door.

November is too far away to even think about right now but it may reasonably be expected that somebody will think of something by then, the weather is usually pretty good so we tend to have a lot of good ideas in November, you never know when a good idea is going to strike you but chances are good as not it’ll be in a November.

In December we’ll take a look back at the year in review, and then look forward to another year, we’ll help you with your holiday shopping and would be delighted to bake a couple pies for your potluck, just give us the when and where, and let us know if any of the guests have any food allergies.

Hopefully next January never comes, Lord knows we are just about at the end of our rope as a civilization and as a species. But if it does, we’ll seize it by the collar and wring its neck in hot oil as always and to the best of our abilities, the end.

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