21 June 2014

Post Script

[Warning: This Post Could Shock Anyone Who Understands Pyrolysis]

In response to reader inquiries regarding the frequency of new posts, which at this point remain purely hypothetical – the inquiries, not the posts, which remain all too real – but which are nonetheless anticipated, The Founder makes no promises or commitments.  New content will be slapped up in due course as it is composed and/or discovered and deemed fit for public consumption.  There will be no alerts sent out, no network will be informed and no series of electronic pulses or discreet packets of data will be transmitted to your mobile device. 

So by all means please check back now and again.  Normally new posts appear about three times a lady (“month”), one longer one mediumish and one li’l throwaway.  D’love to silly-blog as much and as sillily as possible, but we do have other things going on.  If that’s not enough for you, if you’re sitting around on the edge of your seat waiting for some new post somewhere that’s gonna blow your everlovin mind, put you off your old way of thinking and onto one that’s just worlds better, re-read the thing eleven times and then walk around muttering the phrases that stroke your funnybone, drive your pals up the wall with that crap, well here’s some news for you: you need to just slow down a little bit and stop consuming your fellow humans entirely through the medium of electronics.  

You’ve got to like log off, shut down, turn on and tune in.  I mean do you really want me, or the internet, continuously nattering in your ear?  How’s that working out for your happiness quotient, baby?  No, go put on an old Aerosmith record, what was that one, Toys in the Attic, there are some rockin tunes on there you probably haven’t heard in a coon’s age, if you ever even heard them at all.  Toss on some blue jeans, take off your top and jump in the hot tub, crack open the encyclopedia and fire up a doobie, stogie, whatever you got.  Life’s too short to waste time eating anything other than banana cream pies.

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