01 January 2014

What Else Are We Looking At The Wrong Way?

Big Changes are coming down the proverbial pipe, and change is always difficult.  But as with everything (since sliced bread), it’s all in the way you look at it.  Rather than see the decline and fall of our entire way of life as a catastrophe, we can turn our frowns upside downs and keep our eyes and our minds firmly fixed on the bright side of the pie.
Slumping Demand.  The people at Coca-ColaTM should be jumping for joy that their sales are declining.   Now they don’t have to spend so much time and hassle making [another F-bomb deleted] Coca-ColaTM.  Who the hell wants to spend their one precious life making Coca ColaTM?  No sensible person would, unless faced with excessive demand.  Freedom is freedom from demands.  Declining demand is therefore good news for freedom everywhere. 

End of Economic Growth.  Thank [expletive deleted] god, it’s about [and another, in case you missed the first one, deleted] time. Economic growth is required mainly by those who make their money from their money.  It also functions to create jobs for waves of youth entering adulthood.  Fortunately there will be no further waves of youth for a while, what with The End of Children and all (not to mention The Great Cull).  Economic growth is killing us.  It is consuming the planet, warping our psyches and serving mainly to destroy the ecosystems on which we ultimately depend for survival, while exacerbating economic inequality (a measure of which is acceptable if not inevitable but come on now people, let’s get real, lately we are becoming exacerbation nation).  It’s high time to drown economic growth in the bathtub and then throw it out with the bathwater.

Mass Extinctions.  Hard to see how this one could be good but let’s give it a shot.  Most species are little more than a pain in the ass as far as we are concerned, so no big loss there.  For the ones we care about, maybe it was destined to happen, maybe there is nothing we could have done about it, maybe it’s not entirely our fault, or natural selection will favor the survivors and we will figure out a scientific way to restore balance to nature while still allowing for television / the internet / Humvees &c.  Also massive environmental poisoning is causing many mutations and thus creating many new species to replace the old ones.  Change is inevitable, we must accept it like the bodhisattva we as a society aspire to become.  There now, how does that sound?

Global Warming.  Think of how many strip malls and cookie cutter housing projects we can throw up on the millions of acres of real estate currently under ice for a good part of the year.  Every one of those projects provides thousands of solid steady jobs for clean wholesome working people to raise a family and retire comfortably on.  Global warming will therefore boost economic growth, which will further accelerate global warming – see, it’s a virtuous cycle.

Rising Sea Levels will help redistribute wealth, as beachfront properties are inundated and new beachheads established in previously, er, downscale boroughs, the less desirable areas real-estate wise that is.

Increasing Big Storms and Chaotic Weather Events.  Well they add meaning to our lives, don’t they?  Except when they take away everything.  In fact there is no bright side to these things – oh and plus earthquakes – they are simply part of the mixed blessing of living where we do (in the here and now, that is).

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