07 January 2014

The Several Most Breathtaking Photos of 2013, Briefly Described

Wanted to pass out some eye candy here at this time of year when the northern nights are long, but after extensive legal wrangling was unable to negotiate the rights to offer for visual consumption many of the most breathtakingest images of the past roughly 12 months.  Fortunately a picture is worth a thousand words, and talk is cheap.  The following brief descriptions are therefore offered to evoke the year's most fantastic images that will fill you with wonder and take your breath away, leaving you breathless, gasping in awe, slowly asphyxiating.  Please read carefully.

-Whale harpooned as it attacks seal eating otter with fish in mouth.

-Urchins in full Marx Brothers get-up put on amateur talent hour telethon to benefit herpes simplex in bombed out borough of deeply divided city in war-torn nation.

-Starry night with comet glowing naughtily over Lake Watchamacollititi, Republic of Zurambia.

-Protesters march against the eleventh annual Exxon Cowboy Sweepstakes Cheese Prize Massacre Award Memorial Anniversary Giveaway Tragedy, in Trafalgar Square which has been temporarily relocated to a beach in California where a man relaxes playing volleyball with a preternaturally gifted Irish setter as the sun sets over Mt. Kilimanjaro, Nairobe, foreground.

-Ferns growing feverishly, Boney McJoyless National Park, “The Palisades”.

-Cave-divers with joyguns blazing battle animatronic stalactites in the world’s deepest darkest and totally creepiest virtual cave in Kingston, Jamaica mon.

-Passersby gape as street busker plays volleyball on his guitar outside the childhood home of the grandson of the real-life model for the Ralph Kramden character.

-Snow crystals form on the nape of the neck of either Christian Bale or Brad Pitt as he surveys the wreckage following the devastating hurricane fire that ravaged his grotto during an out-of-control clambake commemorating the Battle of Whoop-dee-do Thicket, Hunter’s Peak, Maryland.

-Laborers at world’s largest open pit copper mine take a break to blow off some steam with a few rounds of Hello, Sailor (Chuquicamata, Chile).

If there are images captured in the past year that are more breathtaking than these, I'd like to see them (described).

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