Everyone please take a minute right now to vote me up on Twammer – I just need 7,296 Affirmations to get a free drinking straw from Randy's Gourmet Cheeseburger Chalet in St. George, Utah.
For those unfamiliar with Twoogle, it is a really cool new social web platform for people with low self-esteem so they can sit in the sullen privacy of their own personal spaces and vote up or down on things or other people with serious issues who invade their internet realm and step (innocently or not) into the path of their Twoogle-zooka.
On Twingle every four up-votes equals one Affirmation; if you collect enough Affirmations you can trade them for Twinglets, which allow you power over other people or the ability to solve difficult problems in your life and sometimes cheap tickets to the ice rink.
Not on Twangle yet? Join today! If I get 64 more people to join I get 158 Twanglees added to my account. That will put me in second place in my fantasy league and seriously bump my self-worth numbers up to the tippy-top of the Twiggle-sphere.
Twozzle is not for everyone, and if you're one of those people who can't stand critics and think you're all high-falutin because you read books, split your own firewood and own a kayak, you might want to just save your time and stay away. On the other hand Twoodle is an excellent platform upon which to hook up with other book-splitting kayak lovers, so you may want to give it a shot. YMMV.
But whether you are going all in on the social media revolution or dead set against it, I am in it up to my earholes and I need my Tworgle so please like me people, click on my thing for the love of god, I really haven’t got anything else going at this point.