21 November 2012

Five Ways to Get in on the Latest Trends by Learning What They Are and Then Doing What Other People Are Doing

Because the world needs more blog posts like this.

Rye whiskey.  Ever since Mad Men's debonair leading man Don Draper started drinking rye there has been a significant uptick in the consumption of rye whiskey.  This is a tragedy, as alcohol has ruined nearly as many lives as television and advertising put together.  Nonetheless if it feels good do it, and if a crisply produced TV drama makes drinking rye whiskey neat sound like a good idea then go ahead and try it, just be ready for the massive headache.

Belonging.  The trend toward independent self-reliance has long since crested, and these days it's all about belonging (baby).  Be a part of something bigger (and more fun at parties) than yourself.  The easiest way to follow this trend is to ask your friends and neighbors what they are joining and then join up too, follow the crowd.  Also, look to the internet, and blogs such as this one, for important information that can enrich – or, if used incorrectly, destroy – your life.

Skinny Ties.  Are these trendy these days or what?  Actually we're not sure – guess it depends how you define skinny, and more basically who you want to let tell you how wide your tie should be, assuming you even bother wearing a tie, which is a pretty weird article of clothing if you think about it.

Road Hugs.  Five to ten years ago it was road rage – doesn't that seem like sooo long ago?  Now angry drivers are giving out hugs and ankle massages; since both sides leave the exchange happier, the custom has spread like wildfire, and with only slightly less destructive effects.

Pilates.  Just kidding.  Pilates is sooo seven years ago, but it's never too late to get in shape with other forms of exercise currently in vogue, e.g. bloodletting, fig worship, 'Satchmo', rigorous coughing, squeezing blood from stones (aka 'The Euro'), Von Davis, Heart Pump II (the video game), Power Sifting, De-Baathification.

Television.  Widely known as "TV", television is more popular than ever and if you can’t afford one, or a library pass, start saving your pennies today, prices are dropping and soon you’ll be able to afford your very own 312" super-HD seven-dimensional shape-shifting TV set.  Televisions are mainly used for watching TV shows, though they can also display movie prices and stock quotes.  Some people watch Mad Men and others Breaking Bad, but for those looking to branch out there are also plenty of shows about vampires, sluts, and parliament ministers.

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