30 October 2012

Creating Economic Opportunity: My Basement Science Park


With typical unselfishness I have decided to open up another science-industrial park in my basement, to take advantage of regional clustering effects and accelerate time to market in order to boost the competitiveness of local industry and generate ginormous tax revenues for the new imperial palace I've got in mind plus a four thousand percent ramp-up in military expenditure to underwrite a new wave of foreign adventurism that will establish lopsided trading relationships to suck natural resources from nations poorer than us at conveniently depressed prices, which can only further stimulate the domestic economy and create widespread jobs and happiness and put a few dollars in consumers' pockets so they can go out and pick up the next big electronic gadgets that will be produced in mass quantities in my basement science park, which will cover an area of 0.04 hectares with buildings and roads and all that stuff, plenty of space for R&D facilities and no shortage of comfortable chairs.

In order to create jobs, we will be hiring vast armies of laborers and management and providing a generous salary and benefits package to encourage maximum productivity while at the same time fostering a hip company culture and emphasizing work-life balance giving every employee time to recharge their batteries so they can really buckle down and focus on producing the next boatload of gadgets and apps that will not only make our lives easier and more complete but also unleash a new wave of economic opportunity by increasing productivity and making any type of service accessible to anyone anytime anywhere which will unleash yet another wave of entrepreneurialism so that all of our employees can start their own side businesses creating even more jobs for their friends and family members and eventually grow these fledgling companies into established enterprises that can cluster together in science park basements where they can form complete supply chains that offer comprehensive one-stop shopping and service-based customer-facing win-win relationship-building until everyone's head explodes, the end.

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