20 March 2012

Several Crummy Jokes About Occam's Razor

There are not enough jokes about Occam's Razor.  Perhaps the following will explain why.   

The simplest (and therefore likely the correct) joke on the subject is:  Occam's Razor is by definition the simplest way to shave.   I thought of this on my own but some investigation identifies others who have uttered (more or less) the same joke before.  That doesn't mean I stole it, it's called independent invention.  It is not that mind-boggling of a creative leap, after all.  In any case, other possibilities must exist and we intend to uncover them.  This is what we have so far.

Occam's Razor holds that the simplest explanation is likely to be the correct one.  But what about his Tweezers?  What do they hold? 

Occam was not much on the razor but you shoulda heard Occam’s Comb and Tissue Paper.

Occam's Spatula says that the simplest way to clean the bowl is likely to be the correct one, i.e., by using a spatula, though you should buy your own as Occam needs his.

So Occam's Razor walks into the Pareto Principle Bar, where 20% of the customers drink 80% of the vodka, 20% of the razor slits 80% of the throat, and so on, and the bartender is Murphy Slaw, right, see?  So OR says Gimme a gin gimlet, slice of lime.  Well anything that can go wrong with a razor will go wrong.  Boy was that a close shave.

Try the new disposable razors from William of Occam, for the simplest, most comfortable and convenient shave / argument you've ever had – by definition!

Occam went to use his razor only to find his wife had been using it to peel potatoes.  Fortunately, his son was a stropping lad.

And a big prize to our lucky winner: 

Occam Sock'em Robots are the simplest robots that can effectively wield razors.  

Now comes the part where you please share your own personal favorite jokes on the subject of Occam or his handy razors, in the Comments section, which can be found in Appendix C, at the bottom of page four of this document.


  1. Due to his skill with the razor and his merciless dissection of opposing arguments, William of Occam was known to friends and enemies alike as "Slash".

  2. "I have just shaved with a new brand, it's great. You really should try it, it's called OCCAM!"

  3. How did the group of theoretical scientists decide who's method of shaving was the best one?

    They used occam's razor ��


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