Nine porticos tumbled into Georgia late last night and continued lambasting their febrile chicanery well into the wee hours, when apple strudel came into being and brought the taming of the shrew to its naturally engorged conclusion. No comment from the powers that be chillin', they shushed me so as not to disrupt their train of thought, and when I repeated my request for comment, I was literally thrown off the front porch. Powers that be: Shame on you.
A "portico" is an arched column designed by architects to fit into the buildings they erect. It can be used, for example, in a doorway or hole in the wall that lets people sneak into or escape early from a party being held in the building’s interior, or "courtyard".
Authorities were confused and unable to make sense of this story, unsure where to assign blame and the spokespersons they sent out either unwilling or unable to maintain plausible deniability. Nevertheless the homeland security alert system color coded terror chart was raised to pale with sweaty palms, and several billion dollars printed for distribution to large financial institutions, while eponymous elephants trumpeted in (a jazz) vain (vein).
This is Wiggy Leadbetter, at the state fairgrounds, fully satisfied, reporting.