28 January 2012

Let Life Live (FAQ)

The Let Life Live movement believes that all life should be left alive to live and let live, and that things not yet alive should be brought to life as quickly as possible and never allowed to perish, under penalty of death (by natural causes, i.e., life).  This position has understandably drawn an avalanche of criticism on many fronts, videlicet deadly pathogens and cockroaches, our basic biological constraints, that’s the way of the world, and so forth.  Nonetheless the movement continues to gather steam, an achievement unquestionably in the category of not as easy as it sounds.  And now, with the permission of his sovereignty the emperor and his right-hand man Joey the Archduke of Crittenden, the Keystone Group, in association with Bleopold and Globe Productions, presents, brought to you by Playclay, makers of fine playclay and related substances, ladies and gentlemen, Jessica Sternum, in a Richard Wrathmore blogpost...

Questions Asked with some Frequency vis a vis The Let Life Live Movement

Is all life really sacred?
All life is sacred.  Nothing may be killed, nor may anything alive, whether inadvertently or through willful neglect, be allowed to perish, not without us LLLers laying a huge guilt trip on you.

Well if all life is sacred, even slugs, what’s so special about humans?
Humans have invented the radio, then the sitcom, and now the nuclear handbag.  We have nothing to prove to nobody.

May we eat the dead and the fallen? 
Only if their release consent forms are filled out completely and accurately and signed by the Founder.

How do we obtain the consent of vegetables before they die?
Believe me, it’s a lot easier than getting it after.  But seriously, you must give them a natural life that respects their right to fruition and to create healthy offspring before they perish.  They must be slaughtered in a humane fashion that takes into consideration their dignity and rights.  No vegetable should be chopped, sliced, diced, etc. without a trained anesthetist on site and a chance to bid farewell to its seedlings. 

Don’t we have to kill stuff, to survive?
Kinda; but we should be painfully aware of it and feel really really bad more often.

Where does the movement stand on viruses?  Are viruses alive?
Because viruses can exist in a suspended state for an extended period of time, we view them as machines and not as living organisms; therefore they may not only be killed but they may be slow roasted while still alive, just for kicks.

Send your questions in as soon as you feel like it, and if asked at a certain specific frequency they may be added (if not answered) here.

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