30 June 2011

Sorry for the Lack of Posts Lately Guys (Redux)

I for one happen to love all them blogs that (for all in tents, and porpoises) are devoid of interesting let alone original content if not entirely dormant, save for a quarterly post apologizing for the infrequency of the idiotic posts. In a stirring tribute to the memory of keeping alive this sacred tradition, here's the Second Annual Apology for Not Posting More.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately guys! I've been so busy it is hard to fathom. On my way from Chicago to Abu Dhabi later this week, I was commissioned by some rich oil dudes to carve Bruce Springsteen's visage into some cliffs. It's a challenging project but I am excited for the opportunity. They're even putting me up in a hotel room for free and you should see it, it's completely furnished, I mean it's got a bed and everything.

Right now at this moment I'm flying a Cargoliner full of kelp samples from Sandusky to The Hague, the autopilot is on and seems to have things under control so let's see if I can't collect my thoughts and throw something together here before it's too late.

Mainly I've just been unimaginatively busy, my camera broke, the chickens got out again, I've been working two jobs and putting the finishing touches on my thesis, I have six kids four of whom've been sick all over everywhere, plus it's the busy season for the vole migration and I need to lay in enough to make it through the winter harvest, I've got a crink in my neck and my eyes are watering over more than usual, heck I could go on and on and on and on and on with the excuses but you don't care and neither do I, believe you me, so let's just get on with the new post for the love of the sake of peter h christ the third.

Last week it was elves again, elves this and elves that, frankly I'm a little sick of the whole business but if that's what it takes to operate a used furniture warehouse in this tough economic climate, then I am all for higher taxes for the rich if it will help fund a society-wide initiative to get rid of these infernal elves once and for all.

Oh and I've been depressed ever since my relationship ended and trees went on strike, I still can't believe that something I knew and trusted for so many years could turn around and do me like that. I thought blogging about it might help but now I'm convinced it won't. How could it?

Here's a thought: since oil takes so long to form from fossilized life forms, we had better get started yesterday burying as much organic matter as we can muster and as deeply as possible. Maybe we can deposit it in already emptied wells so that when it turns to oil the extraction equipment will be right there on site and ready to go. We cannot afford any more environmental catastrophes, that is fo shizzle.

Oh shit I kinda gotta go. Sorry the post is not longer but I'm pretty busy right now, we're plummeting into the sea and it looks like this may be the end for me as well as everyone on board, so in case some of them don't have access to blogging software and/or the inclination to update their blogs as we rapidly approach certain death, on their behalves I'd just like to take a few minutes here to elaborate on some thoughts that came to me after a lunch I had with my aunt the other day in Kiev -- oh christ I really should go here. I promise to post another update soon if I survive, if not then RIP to me and my blog, that's it, lights out.

The first annual apology for not posting more can be found

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