05 November 2010

Dolphins Unhurt in Sea World Cull

A fake news story about a purportedly ecologically necessary cull at one of those ocean theme park places where they have performing seals and dolphins and all that, was not written Thursday when doubts arose in the mind of the author concerning the story's possible origin in something previously read, possibly in The Onion. No one was hurt or injured, Tony, and no onlookers, it appears it was a simple event in the mind of the author, with no basis in or connection to reality as that term is generally understood.

Authorities had no comment on the event, they had not heard anything about it, they thought that whatever happened or did not happen it didn't amount to a bug's ass and frankly, they were a little pissed about being awakened from a good sleep on account of it. Preliminary searches of The Onion archive have turned up no such silly cull item, but that does not rule out the possibility that the idea is stolen from somewhere else, so there is no story here, it was never written, but you can imagine how it would have went, slinging blame all around, making it seem like the seals and otters were overrunning everything, tearing up crops and eating our babies and so on, probably just as well anyway. Ron?

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