01 October 2010

Kennel Blog Post from Kennel Central

I decided this blog needs some focus and then after that I decided that the focus of this blog is going to be (yes you guessed it) (it should have been obvious from the title) (but some of you are brighter than others) (I mean that's just life isn't it) kennels.

Kennel-related news and information that is updated 24 hours a day so that users of the world wide web, as well as others who are interested in kennels, can find this clearing house of information that is up to the minute about kennels and kennel related you know, incidents and accidents and stuff. And policy regulation also affects the kennel sector, we'll throw something about that in there too.

I was thinking too maybe we could spin off a tv show in which I could be some kind of superhero, or maybe not a superhero but just like a regular guy who's a hero to a lot of animals in need of short-term accomodations. And maybe I handle a lot of endangered species, like some piranha-eating snakes or a winged aardvark, or maybe I take in a chimp for a few episodes and we start to get attached. But I don't need to get too nailed down on specifics at this point, the key is the obvious room for creative expression within the kennel paradigm. There's a clear audience there, lots of room for guest stars, I don't see how it can miss.

Now of course a complete redesign followed by a multi-dollar marketing campaign to establish this as the mother of all kennel blogs will not be easy and let's make no mistake, no one ever said it was going to be. To institute this change down to the lowest levels of our organization will require a steadfastness of purpose and a willingness to chew our food a bit longer before swallowing than we have so far shown ourselves capable of. There is no doubt that much hard work lies ahead and that the time for extraordinary sacrifice is now, or later, or maybe never.

In addition, I hope that everybody reading this, and more importantly that the millions of people not reading this, are impacted positively by my positive message and able to discern the gist of what I was talking about, the end. OK there that should be long enough. The above was just to distract everybody, get rid of the mush-for-brains crowd so that you those of us remaining (here pull up a chair, sorry what was your name again?) can take on a more substantial question: the meaning of life.

I just came in from a set out on my balcony, watching the bats make their rounds in the cloudy early evening, first time I've had a chance to sit a spell like that in a while, and as I was sitting there it almost seemed to come into focus, you know how it kind of dances out in front of you for a few minutes now and then, but of course it got away again.

I'm not sure if there is any meaning to life anyway, in fact there may be none. But still, if a dog or a cat needs a place to stay, then by god there ought to be a kennel, nay a range of kennels to choose from, for that dog to go where the owner can have peace of mind and pay a reasonable price to have their pet professionally cared for during their absence. And if that makes me a nihilist well then so be it.

Or maybe it's like my grandma always said, she'd say: If your life doesn't have enough meaning, then you'll just have to make do with (meaning) less.

4 comments:

  1. Yeah I'm really feelin on this kennel thing, at our staff meeting yesterday I kind of threw it out there, almost as an aside, and people were really enthusiastic, it turned into a whole brainstorming session, we're gonna add at least two new sections, we'll have a blog on best practices in kennel management, and integrate with a location-based service provider to automatically send you a text message with the location of the nearest (you guessed it) kennel every fifteen minutes for the rest of your life

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  2. How about a state-by-state analysis of animal welfare laws, listing out what are the possible weak points and offering detailed strategies for getting rich quick by suing a kennel?

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  3. Whoever wrote this mess displays little knowledge of, respect for, or talent for promoting, kennels. I have been checking back daily in anticipation of being the first to retweet the first post of your amazing 'kennel blog' but all I see is nothing, confirming my impression that you are a con man and a fraud.

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  4. To "RealKennelz" your comment barely merits a response, yet a direct response I shall offer: keep checking back daily because all will be revealed soon...

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