24 September 2010

Support Brainwashing

Most people in our modern times seem to agree that our educational system has gone to hell on a greased pole in a handbasket, and some fresh new ideas are urgently needed at this critical juncture.

The answer is simple and can be summed up in one phrase: brainwashing.

Forget the school board and the teacher's unions, the department of education and all the state and federal bureaucrats rooting around our classplaces these days; brainwashing remains the only viable and cost-effective solution to cranking out the particular type of drones our great nation needs to keep its place at the top of the pie.

In the past our education has attempted to impart the critical thinking skills important to our growing democracy. Well let's get with the times, Kojak. We're not growing any more and the whole democracy thing is getting old.

Why does one have to question everything anyway? Why so much emphasis on doubt? Take Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle for instance. What kind of principle is that on which to build a world-dominating nation-state? "I think I'm gonna kick your ass -- but I have gone to great pains to prove that there is no way I can be absolutely certain about it." I mean, when you're staring down the business end of a 357 semi-odd 30-Gauge double barreled Mach Six Winchester Bazoo, where's your uncertainty principle now? Eh Heisenberg ol' pal, where's your uncertainty principle now, see? Yeah!

There should be three basic goals to this brainwashing:
1) It should make our great nation-state even greater (stand up straight when you say that)
2) It should brook no disagreement ('nuff said)
3) It should ensure that I maintain my privileged position in society in perpetuity.

Wait, did I say that out loud? I was kidding of course, we're all in it together, shared sacrifice and all that, right I mean, do you have any idea what the top tax rates are? No, I guess you wouldn't.

But I've said too much. This is Rich Mamundsen, living large in a world of untelevisable splendor, reporting.

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