28 May 2010

The Europe Part IV: An Economic Storm Gathers its Clouds

This is the fourth installment of The Europe. Unlike some others we could name, say Star Wars, or The Spam Review, this series does not begin with part four as some kind of gimmick, oh we'll go back and make up a beginning later, that kind of thing. No, in this case, Parts I, II, and III already exist.

The recent economic downturn, the so-called global financial crisis or whatever, is bound to have a tragic effect on the growth prospects for The Europe.

Are the stimulus packages proposed by the ineffectual governments of the tiny little nation-states of the old Europe large enough to generate any positive long-term growth? Will massive debt defaults in the so-called Titgits group (The Ireland The Greece The Spain) set off wider collapses of the credit markets throughout The Europe? Or will intervention by The Europe The Central Bank become necessary to avert further catastrophic destruction of wealth and declining living standards, with the inevitable social unrest, resurrection of age-old conflicts and the whole clash of societies thing?

These questions remain to be answered, but answered they must be, as in great times great men and women are born not made, forged from the hard true grit of the iron stove, rising to the challenge like a fine souffle, then gathering together in armed bands and rampaging for what they believe in. On Wednesday afternoon five thousand protesters carrying signs reading No Definite Article, No Definite Prospects and The Europe Bay Bay marched on Trafalgar Square in Rome in defiance of an order from The Europe CEO Dr. Christian Kovacques to "Hush up with all the silly nonsense and get with the program already." When security forces attacked with party cannons and pink pennywhistles things threatened to get ugly, but the demonstrators whipped up a duck a l'orange and just a wonderful little asparagus salad that so wowed our judges that Dr. Kovacques immediately acceded to all of their demands. When pressed, however, none of the demonstrators was able to articulate a single reasonable demand, requests for a second helping of the asparagus salad (or at least a peek at the recipe) notwithstanding.

The following Brief Quiz (cue theme music) is offered to provide a real-time assessment of the reader's apprehension of this complex subject.

Question 1. Look at the photograph, then choose the best answer available, or make up a better one if you like.
1) The Europe has become:
a) stray dog heaven
b) an outlet for overflow parking in the neighborhood
c) a place for drunks to pee, or worse
d) a shining beacon of hope for a the united European Yoon-yun!

Conclusion of Section 1. Please put down your pencils and stretch your arms for twenty minutes before moving on to Section 2.

Section II - Essay

Write a well-developed essay (or not) of 1-500 words on the following question:

Can The Europe and its new central currency, The Eurus, offer an alternative to the dollar as a global reserve currency, or will The Eurus be a part of a basket of currencies including the Asiano, the Ameribuckaroo, and the Bump & Shake (Uh Huh)?

Please write your answer in the space provided, or use the Comment box below if you must.

Pass your papers forward when you're done and that's it. Final results will be posted on the class webpage. Don't call us, we'll call you.


  1. How many marble games did you lose at the playground and instead of giving up the goods you simply traded your lunch? I like playing that shell game which fits in nicely the TIT GITS. Who or what is hiding under that emerald aisle anyway? Posing more questions in a time of getting out with all your marbles.

    Apparently, some people can go out and invent their own currency. Print some different money and erase a universe of bad debt. Yeah we owed you the money in that other paper we no longer use. The new paper is cleaner, printed on recycled old notes and it smells like oranges if you scratch and sniff it.

    Let your conscience be your guide--

  2. This multi-level marketing approach is just the ticket. Purchase a new economy in three easy steps. First this unique, non-commercial economy is supported financially by the sale of postage stamps and tourist mementos, fees for admission to museums, and the sale of publications. Why yes you too can join, fasten your seat belts its on the fast track. E-Phast has the necessary tools to start your own economy by signing away your first born. Your package will include a foldable museum entrance, stamps for stamping, tourist maps of the closet and of course, publications for sale at local crematoriums. Make any place a tourist trap and we'll show you how.


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