23 March 2010

The Europe Part III: The Doors Coming Off

"To understand whither something is headed you must first know whence it hails."

To read Part I of this series click here, and to read Part II click here. Bear in mind that there will be a brief quiz at the conclusion of Part IV.
An open door policy? Or the first signs of an empire crumbling?

With troubled times clearly on the horizon, yet optimism rising like the setting sun is always rising somewhere, it seemed a good time to sit down with the leaders of this whole debacle for a little mano a uno (one man, one Europe - you get the idea).

We spoke with the CEO of The Europe, Dr. Christian Kovacques, about his vision for the new The Europe. Wait no no no: Dr. Kovacques will be having a live chat for this entire year, answering in real time all questions posed from anywhere in the world, 24/7, for the whole year - no let's make it for as long as this remains posted on the world wide web - through his patented Cog-Net system™.

Please use the comment box below to submit a question for Dr. Christian Kovacques, CEO and Chairman, The Europe.

Feel free to compose and include Dr. K's response to your question as you imagine it. This saves him considerable time and effort, and ensures that you receive a prompt response to your inquiry, if not necessarily an intelligent one.


  1. I have a question for Dr. K: Whither the new The Europe?

  2. Dr. Christian Kovacques, CEO and Chairman, The EuropeMarch 24, 2010 at 2:42 AM

    Thanks for the great question. We've got a lot of projects in the works Matt. Look for us at Continent-Con 2010 in Ft. Lauderdale, we'll have a whole pavilion there, big corner thing, and a new video we shot especially for the occasion. But looking longer-term, we want to get into real estate, and really just unify the heck out of the old Europe, whence we hale.

  3. Joe in SaskatchewanMarch 24, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    Thanks for taking my questions, actually I have three. How many challenges are facing the new The Europe, and what is the single biggest challenge, and how can I make a fast buck on this?

  4. Dr. Christian Kovacques, CEO and Chairman, The EuropeMarch 24, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    Last question first: Derivatives my man, derivatives. But seriously - We have challenges three in number - well it really depends how you count them - I mean the bigger challenges kind of include several smaller challenges, do you want to count that as six challenges or two broad challenges with three or four sub-challenges – I mean getting up in the morning is a challenge some days, right? – but no, let's just say four – six – seven … teen challenges right now. Biggest is unflexing our garbled muscles, trying to get united. The Europe, bay-bay!

  5. Sarah Jessica in MorgantownMarch 26, 2010 at 12:41 PM

    How come when Napoleon tried to unify Europe that was all bad and stuff, but now you The Europe guys, you're basically doing the same thing and you talk like you're saving the world. What's the difference?

  6. Dr. Christian Kovacques, CEO and Chairman, The EuropeMarch 26, 2010 at 8:25 PM

    For one, Napoleon sent invading armies to topple governments, unleashing the hellish forces of war and carnage and bringing incalculable suffering to thousands if not millions of people. The Europe is just about unity, SJ - get with the program! Also: Napoleon wanted to make everyone learn French. We have a much more inclusive linguistic framework.

  7. Byrne in EffigeeApril 1, 2010 at 2:49 AM

    I'm writin' in as a former Belgian Duke reared in Cork but raised on the Adriatic, and I'm opposed to unity for its own sake. "Let's all get together and be one" - I mean what the piss Christ is that?

  8. Dr. Christian Kovacques, CEO and Chairman, The EuropeApril 1, 2010 at 3:07 AM

    See that's the kind of negativity we're facing, really racing upstream against time against, this kind of disintegrationary mindset – and let's be honest here and call it what it is, disintegrationarianism – and I mean some days I swear, it's all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. But get out of bed I shall, and bravely make a pot of coffee, as long as such sentiments prevail among the backward thinking anti-pro-all-for-one-and-one-for-all-ists, the negative naysayers of nabob natterering, to coin another man's apt phraseology.


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